I Am Not Kidding.

While dusting my bookshelves (I do that a lot), I came across my old Manual for the Legal Secretarial Profession, circa 1970-72. It is priceless. As I have mentioned, I went to Champlain College and its Legal Secretarial Program during those years. According to the Manual, here is a list of the proscribed attributes for the legal secretary:

--Save your glamour for evenings when you want to attract, not distract attention. Hair-bows may have their places, but not in the office.
--Hide your light. If you originate a good idea, give the credit to your boss, because you know when he advances, you advance with him.
--Look beautiful over the telephone. Hundreds of men with plain secretaries have been startled to hear an outsider say: "your secretary must be lovely... she certainly sounds beautiful over the phone."
--Be a good housekeeper. Keep your boss's desk and office neat, his calendar up-to-date, his desk supplied with sharp pencils, erasers and blotters, his pen filled [is that a euphemism??].

Annoying attributes:
--gum chewing
--argumentative
--smoking at your desk
--BO
--untidy hair
--too emotional
--swearing; this should be the boss's privilege [I am not kidding, it says that].
--not ladylike enough

Oh, and clean clothing and clean hose should be worn every day.

Well, first off, the lawyer I worked for in those early days was the former Director of Vermont Legal Aid - he had long hair and wire-rimmed glasses and I wore jeans and tee-shirts to the office. We swore a lot, especially at insurance lawyers and our own disgusting criminal clients who threw up in the stairwell. We laughed loudly every single day, usually at the expense of some of our more stupid criminal clients or at stories in the NYTimes about other stupid criminals. We had disgusting, stupid and from time to time very very scarey clients. I loved that job.

In the next installment, I will describe the Champlain College class for The Professional Secretary when a real live New York City model (she modeled for Sears Catalogs) spoke to us about posture, grace, fashion, and what sort of cocktail to order when dining out in the big city -- I'm thinking it was Sloe Gin Fizz -- what the hell is that anyway???) --cds